Virgin in Korea

Sexy Television

Ok,

So what is with all the sex on TV today?? Everytime I flip through the channels someone is having sex. Really universe? Really??? I think the universe is mocking me… lol. but seriously. I’m not kidding. there was a ton of sex on TV today. Koreans, Americans, 18th century Brits, Gladiators, you name em, they were doing it and right as I flipped onto the channel. oh the irony of it all…. LOL

The Trials of Texting

Texting: can’t live without it, can’t live with it. WTH

ok, texting back history… I hardly EVER text him. In the past four months i’ve texted maybe 8 times. out of those eight times i’ve gotten three text backs and two call backs. the other texts there was no response. the texts I have gotten back are usually symbols or very short because his english is so limited and my korean is so limited. my favorite being 5 hearts in a row :-) Ok, moving on!

Ok,  so last night Lady in Waiting and I went to our bar but my bartender was not working…. SAD!

So I decided to text him (in Korean, thanks to lady in waiting). I texted, roughly, “Hi oppa, are you well? What are you doing tonight?”

It took him a while, like 45 minutes, but he DID text back. he texted back “Zzzzz…..”

So obviously he was sleeping… lol. short and simple, but I found it to be super cute. So after that I texted him again saying, in Korean “Tonight I went to the bar but you were not there. I missed you. Sleep well”

No text back but I assume he was sleeping, and it didn’t really require a text back… right? lol. 

Then today lady in waiting and I decided to go back to the bar again to celebrate Children’s day. One drink only! So I texted him around lunch time “tonight do you work?”

It took him a while but later that day he texted back a simple “yes” in korean. However, I was told by a korean friend that it is the cute way to say yes in korean AND it WAS in korean. that was a first.

So we went to the bar tonight and he comes up and says hi and waves a bit. We ask him about his hair cut and he tells us he got it cut on his day off. Assa! lol.

But then??? NOTHING.

WTH. WTH. WTH.

he did smile and stuff and was friendly when he took my order/brought my drink but other than that? NOTHING.

Ok, so am I reading too much into our past moments / the recent texting?

What’s the deal?? really! I didn’t even get a good bye tonight… wth…

I should say, that there has been a guy working there from the head company while they find a new bartender to replace our friend. So maybe that has something to do with it? I wouldn’t bank on that or anything, but I suppose it was a possibility. I know that if I were at my old job and the district manager came into the store I sure as hell wasn ‘t acting the way I would with just me and my normal crew. So maybe? OR maybe i’m just trying to comfort myself.

I really thought we had something going on. Maybe just a little something, but still something… :-S

Why do boys have to be SO freaking confusing! and what is the deal with him suddenly being “shy” around me?? or so he says…

wth. that is all.

E.N.

My Bartender - The Soldier

Ok, I have to start this blog out by saying that it was incredibly hard to pick a nickname for this guy because his actual nickname is so damn hot. I mean, It just fits him perfectly. However, for anonymity sake, I had to pick some new nickname. Thus, the soldier was born. I know it’s not all that creative but it really does fit him. He’s probably the hardest working guy I’ve ever met, and well, to be perfectly honest, he has some serious upper body strength that is SUCH a turn on. Anywho, I’m getting sidetracked. You’ll hear more about that later… ;-)

By the way, this is going to be a long one because it’s about three months of material. So, go get your coffee, take a potty break and settle in before continuing on…

Ok, so here’s the deal. My friend, Lady in Waiting, and I have been going to the same bar for the last 3 and a half months and over that time period I have been flirting with one of the bartenders there. He knows I like him, and ever since he found that out, he’s been seriously flirtatious. I wish I could remember every little detail, but it would be impossible, so I’ll attempt to tell you all that I remember.

It started out small. I wasn’t even really all that into him at first. He was sorta cute but I was kind of into another bartender at the time. Then one night he comes over and R, our friend who works at the bar too, asks which one of us likes him more. Jokingly I said me. Well, apparently that was the start of a whole new ballgame.

He gave me his card, after drawing a heart on it of course… when I put his number in my phone, I showed him and he said “not cute”, pointing to the heart on the card.. So after I put a heart after his name, he seemed to be satisfied. Then the flirting began, along with my feelings for him. It started with things like him telling me to call him Oppa. Well, he said it in this ridiculous way… Opfa…. and making heart signs with his hands across the bar, seeing if I would reciprocate. I did of course. I didn’t care if a whole bar of people saw my grand arm swinging motions into a perfectly shaped heart around my head… lol. It got a smile and a laugh from him, and that’s all I cared about. That night I got my first hug from him too. It was a hug from behind.. Which I have no idea what that means, but the other bartender near by made quite the deal about it. Lol. Nonetheless, it was very cute.

Then one day I decided to ignore him. Just to see his reaction. Needless to say, it worked. He doesn’t like being ignored very much. It made him work so much harder to get my attention. My favorite part being his naming off of all the sexy drinks… Sex on the beach, Orgasm, Fuckgane… etc.

I mean, it started out like this and I just figured he was being a flirtatious bartender. Then it started to get more interesting. He started caring a lot more. Or so it seems.

I went to the bar one night with my friend who was in a wheel chair. While we were there it started to snow. It snowed SO bad in such a short period of time that we knew we’d never catch a cab. We asked R if there was any way to call and reserve a cab but the lines were busy. Go figure. So instead of us just chancing it, he ended up going out into the mini blizzard and trying to catch a cab for us for almost half an hour. He failed… but it’s the thought that counts right?? And then once WE got ourselves a cab, I texted him to thank him. It wasn’t more than three minutes after I texted him that he called and checked to see where I was at, whether we were in a cab and whether I would get home safely it was SO sweet. I also got an invite to his birthday party at the bar the next weekend.

I should mention the touching. This kboy is not shy about his touching: Rubbing my arm, giving my hugs, Holding my hand, etc. He also almost walks me out the door. This happening all over the period of time between first talking with him and up to the birthday party.

It killed me trying to find the right gift for him. It really really did. BUT. Finally, my friend J suggested a lighter. I was like, PERFECT! So I got him the lighter and this really cute candy rose. Fixed it all up. Little pink bag, the lighter, white crèche paper, and the rose sticking out.

Lady in Waiting and I went, looking our bests of course and when we showed up he said I looked sexy. Which, for me, is always a compliment. LOL. I asked him how he was, and he said horrible. I asked why?? And he replied he was turning … I told him, “its ok!” and he said, “really? it’s ok?” and seemed to perk up at this. People are so weird about age… but anyways, moving on.

That night was also white day. So a little while later, he comes over to bring us our drinks and stuffed up under his shirt is a box of candy. He lifts his shirt up and it falls out onto the table. It was all very cute.  I never asked for candy or even mentioned the fact that it was white day. Actually, one of the other bartenders told me I should ask him for candy and I responsed that I was NOT asking him for candy. lol.

Then after he gave me the box of candy he made me open it up and removed a piece of candy. At first he jokingly put the candy between his teeth like he was going to feed it to me mouth to mouth but then he said, “ok, ok. joke” and got another piece of candy which he insisted on feeding to me…. it was a little weird, don’t get me wrong, but really cute at the same time. After that he talked with us quite a bit and we took a picture together.

Then, later that night (at midnight since it was his birthday then) he had his little party and afterward I gave him his gift. It was cute because at first he just thought it was just the rose candy that was his gift and I had to tell him, well, ok, show him, that there was more in the bag. Lol. He finally got the little box the lighter was in open and seemed really touched. He immediately pulled it all apart and looked it over, played with it, went and showed it to his friend. You know, boys with their toys. Lol. So I was really happy that he seemed to really like it.

When he came back over to the table to say thank you again, he went to hug me and I jokingly tapped my cheek for a kiss. Not knowing that the other bartenders where watching…. And made some hoot and hollering at this motion… but he didn’t reject me. Thank the lord. He joking said, “Ok, I am a boy…” and kissed me on the cheek and gave me a hug. Not too sure what to make of that statement but whatever… lol.

Then, as we where going to leave, he walks us out the door and down into the street. I’m telling him happy birthday and he goes to give me a hug. As he is holding me in the hug, he gives me another kiss on the cheek and I then kiss him on the cheek back. It was the first and only time we’ve kissed but it was pretty special in an intimate way. I think that is when I realized just how much I cared about him. I’ve pretty much been head over heels since. I dunno, maybe he was feeling sentimental because it was his birthday, but I really hope it’s more than that. Lol.

After that night things started to get more interesting.

The jokeness of things started to settle down a bit after that. Things got more serious in a way. When I would walk in, he would immediately say Hello and ask how I was. He’d call other bartenders off the table and come over instead. I would get touches as usual but more intimate at times than before. One time in particular he was leaning down by the table and while there he put his hand on my calf. This wasn’t a “oh, I’m losing my balance” kind of touch, it was an on purpose touch, under the table.

Now don’t get me wrong, we still joked around and such. He’d come over to the table and play games with us and such, but, he’d always bow me out before we were done (whether I lost or won… lol) so that I’d never be the “loser” who had to buy the drinks. Instead of the more casual joking with me though, he began to mess with Lady in Waiting more, with “loser” and “ajusshi” being common name calling.

At one point, I hadn’t been there in quite a while and we were getting ready to go back. I wanted to make sure that he would be working, so I texted him to see if he was working. Within a half an hour (he was working that night) he called me and asked where I was at. I said in my home. He jokingly said that we should hang out, right now. When I replied “really?” knowing he was working, he said “sorry, I’m at work” then he went on to tell me that he missed me. I told him that I would be going back sometime next week and asked when he worked. It was quite the feat though. Seeing how he’s usually pretty shy about his limited English and the conversation was pretty long AND he said he missed me!! YAY!!

Then one night I get a joke text from a friend in Korean saying “I like you, will you meet me tonight” and he sees me reading the text and laughing. He comes over and wants to see it as I am about to show it to lady in waiting. When she shows it to him he shuts the phone on her fingers. Not hard. But still. And then, as I’m leaving that night he says “handphone no.” I thought he meant don’t text him, and I was a little hurt BUT he then makes me pull out my cell phone and he brings up the text. He is adamant about me not meeting up with the guy who texted me, pointing to the message and saying no multiple times.

Then a couple of weekends ago I show up with two of my friends and a new guy friend, who’s Korean but fluent in English. As soon as we walk in my bartender says hi, which isn’t all that unusual. Ah, I should point out that H, the Korean friend, sat next to me and was constantly leaning into me to talk so that I could hear him all night. Not to mention we where laughing our heads off all night. I hang with a weird group. Also, the bar was super busy because it was a Saturday night. So then when he comes over to take our drink order he puts his hand on my shoulder and when I order a sex on the beach he makes a big deal about it. ‘Sex on the Beach, Seeex on the beeeach, SEEEX ON THE BEEEACH” you get the idea. Neither of which are all that out of the ordinary. But later, after he brings our drinks, my hand is resting on the table and he’s standing there talking to the four of us and he reaches over and holds me hand. Not in a friendly squeeze of the hand and let go kind of way, but in a more intimate way, if you know what I mean. Right there on the table for everyone to see. Ok, now that is a bit out of the ordinary. He’s usually not all the blunt in front of people and he held my hand until he left the table. Then later he’s walking over to our table and starts showing off by lifting himself up on two chairs with his legs straight out. DAMN was it hot. Talk about freaking upper body strength. Total turn on! Anywho… it felt to me, and maybe this is just me, but it felt like he was kind of testing H and seeing my reaction as well. He was also making damn sure that I paid attention to him, which he totally succeeded.

That was a couple of weekends ago and not much has happened since then. Last weekend we went for another bartender’s going away party.

When I got there we got sat in the back corner thanks to the crowd. I didn’t see this, but I guess he was walking by and saw lady in waiting and sort of did a double take, looked around the corner and then came over. He gave me a hug and talked a bit but that was about it. I really do think that he was pretty busy and kind of sad about the bartender leaving, all of them were really. So I’m not really going to hold that against him. But it was a bit disappointing.

I do have to wonder if maybe he’s being a bit more reserve because I’ve stopped coming so much and maybe he thinks I don’t like him… I dunno. Ah, also that night he told R that he was shy around me…. WTH. SHY??? SHY??? He wasn’t so damn shy when he was kissing me in the street…. Lol. Anywho, I just don’t know what to make of him. My weight makes me even more self conscious. It’s kind of like, he’d never like a big girl like me…. But at the same time, the signs are all there. Aren’t they? I feel like they are, but I’ve been out of the game for a long time… cough,cough…. High school…. Cough, cough…. Lol.

But I mean, what do you think? Is he just being a flirtatious bartender or do you think there is more there? I mean, over the last three months we’ve come a long way but at the same time, I don’t know what the hell is going on with him. You would think if he liked me he would have made a move or something by now or you know, SOMETHING. Lol.

Any input would be greatly appreciated.

Pretty Please with a Cherry on Top!

Whew, I told you this was going to be a long one. and I didn’t even remember all the minuet details. oh well, it is what it is. I hope it was a fairly enjoyable read!

Wish me luck!

E.N.

Just a quick FYI…

…. To put you in the loop. I know I talked a little bit about my weight in my first blog but I didn’t really explain.

 I’m not one of those stick thin girls who thinks she’s fat. By the end of university up to when I left for Korea I was getting up near 250 lbs. Yeah, I know. Ouch. In the first couple of months here I dropped to 231 and I am currently at 224 and hoping to hit under 200 by the time my bet with Lady in Waiting is over with. However, as you can see, I am a big girl. I’m working on it but still.

I don’t really like to mention this but I do feel it’s relevant to tell you if your going to be reading about my love life, or lack there of, in Korea because weight is a big factor.

Like I said, just a quick FYI

Wish me luck!

E.N.

P.S. I have a very very long blog coming about the man who has been giving me so much well annoyance and happiness at the same time. Don’t get too excited… like I said, I’ve never really dated much and every little detail seems like a big deal. Be prepared to be bored! Well… sorta ;-)

Getting to Know You

Well, I have about a billion blogs….ok, I’m exaggerating but you get the idea…. and I feel a bit silly starting a new one. I was entertained by the idea that this could be an anonymous blog and then I had to laugh at myself. I mean, really. Aren’t most blogs anonymous? Despite the few blog circles, such at expatriates and others that write for both people at home and people looking to come themselves, pretty much all blogs are anonymous.

However, I have decided to go ahead and start this one up as well. This will be an account of my life and (non-existent) love life in Korea. I’m warning you now. You won’t be spared any boring or minuet details. I will post about every little thing that happens, every interaction and every touch. I should also tell you that Evy Norris is not my real name. Obviously… because that would pretty much ruin the idea of this being an anonymous blog.

Anyways, I should tell you a few facts about myself so that my boring, and non-existent love life will make some sense to you. Otherwise, all of the very minor things that happen and seem like a big deal to me would merely be lost in translation with you. You, whom I’m assuming is A) more experienced than me and will have words of wisdom or B) in the same boat as me and can relate to my situation.

My dating experience is limited to the three year stint I had with a boy in high school. The three years had their good and bad points. On the good side, I am now quite experienced in many, many physical aspects. On the bad side, I was so scarred from this experience that I never really wanted to date again for the following three years. I still cringe when someone wants to hold my hand. That boy would literally never ever let my hand go. During dinner, during a two and a half hour long movie, while walking, while driving, it never stopped! Just thinking about it now makes me want to hide my hands away. Also, on the bad side is the fact that my physical experience only really comes from one person. I feel that that does give me some disadvantage.

After we broke up my junior year of high school, I had a short period of time with a friend with benefits. Unfortunately, it wasn’t really all the beneficial.

Then high school ended and I went to university. I lived at home during this time and commuted to school and back. Like I said, I didn’t really have the desire to date or the self esteem due to the fact that I was extremely heavy. Still am, but I have taken quite a bit of weight off since then. Moving on…. I was also super busy. I earned my four year degree in two years by taking double the course load and going summer quarter.

Between the fact that I didn’t really want to date and then didn’t really have time to date, obviously, I didn’t date, which leads me to now. I graduated last summer and on New Years Eve I landed in Seoul, South Korea. I didn’t think I’d go boy crazy or even be a partier but it would seem that I have re-found my desire to date and to have physical contact. Now it’s just a matter of trying to get someone to date me and to have physical contact with me!

Like I said before, I’ve had a lot of physical contact. Fingering, hand jobs, blow jobs, make out sessions… blah blah blah. Not something I like to mention, but I didn’t want you to think I was exaggerating. I’ve pretty much done everything except for actually having sex. That has always been something that has worried me. Of course in high school it was the fear of getting pregnant. In college it was self esteem issues and the fear of getting STDs (still a fear I have, of course) and now it’s really a mixture of whether I should wait for marriage, the fear of STDs, and finding someone I trust enough to actually have sex with me. My low self esteem about my body doesn’t help much either. When you look at yourself and think, who would want to touch this… you usually don’t feel very marketable. Lol.

Lastly, I really have never dated in the real world. Let’s face it. High school is high school. Cute, creepy puppy love where the boy’s mom has to take you to the movie theater because you can’t even drive yet, having a secret make out session in the basement, and being walked to your door knowing your parents are in the back living room waiting for you to get home ok. That doesn’t really scream mature dating to. So the fact that I’ve never been on a real date before pretty much scares the shit out of me. I mean, really. It’s a pretty scary concept. Throw in the fact that half the guys here have very very limited English and my charm doesn’t translate into my limited Korean and you can see just how difficult this is going to be.

BUT alas, I’m trying to overcome all of my doubts and put myself out there in the dating world. Not necessarily for sex. Don’t get me wrong. This blog is NOT going to be all about me trying to get laid. It’s merely going to be an account of my love life, boy stories, dating attempts, cross communications and just a place to put how I truly feel about things. Maybe, just maybe you can help me along when things get difficult and confusing. I’m going to need all the help I can get. Seeing how I’ve never dated an American boy before let alone a Korean boy! I mean, let’s face it. Boys are confusing and stupid and they make life hell. But at the same time, we spend half the time thinking about them and how much we miss them or how much we want to be with them.

Damn Boys! LOL

Wish me luck,

E.N.